Imagine if a technologically advanced alien race invaded Earth to steal our most valuable resources, and the only way to defeat them was to order something from Amazon Prime. This is, quite literally,

War of the Worlds is an all-time bad movie up there with The Room, and you should actually watch it because of that on Amazon.

Now, Prime Video’s noxious new movie adaptation of the story, starring Ice Cube, has got me feeling unwells. It’s easily one of the worst films of the decade — a war on our will to live. E.T. Extra-Terrible. The Search for Schlock.