Pop superstar Katy Perry was spotted in what looked like some level of embrace with another former Canadian Prime Minister this week. “I don’t know what came over me,” said Perry. “I guess I just like ...

Area man Bob Sawatzky took just 5 hours to pass a semi on the highway this week, the fastest time ever recorded by a Mennonite. “I figured he was going 100,” said Bob, “so I set my cruise at 100 and a ...

After a series of highly popular rule changes this week, the Canadian Football League has unveiled a brand new logo modelled after Cracker Barrel. “We know how well that worked for them,” said league ...

President Trump issued a warning to pregnant woman this week – avoid knackzoat. “It can only be bad. Not good,” said Trump. “Very bad. Let me see. How do you pronounce this? It’s called kay nack? What ...

Always wanting to improve services across the country, Canada Post announced this week it would be hiring Amish and Old Order Mennonites to deliver the mail from now on. “It’s just one more way to ...

Area man Earl Klassen is celebrating his birthday this week by consuming 67 pieces of plautz. “How old are you, Earl?” said friend Dave. “Are you 60 …6 or is it 7?” Earl proudly stated that not only ...

The WestEast Church in Calgary, Alberta has just announced it will be removing all reclining seats in the last 20 rows of the sanctuary. “That’s where all the latecomers and low tithers sit,” said ...

Area woman Theresa Bueckert decided she’d change things up a little and add raisins to her bun dough this week. The results were, as expected, disastrous. “Oba, what was I thinking,” said Mrs.

Mennonites across Kansas were stirred into a frenzy this week after they heard that speeches were now free. “Even the thrift store doesn’t have free speech like this,” said Mr. Janzen. “I’ve never ...

After the escalator abruptly stopped just as Pastor Dave was approaching, the entire responsive reading and the first 40 minutes of the sermon had to be postponed. “I didn’t know what to do,” said ...

We may not have heard from him for quite a while, but Toews laced up his skates again last night, this time for his hometown Winnipeg Jets. “Yeah, well, I figured I could use the exercise,” said Toews ...

The local thrift store got a huge influx of margarine containers, old license plates, and Clorox bottles this week after local man, Dave Klassen, donated literally everything he owned. “The Internet ...