I was torn between amusement and pity. Assuming I could not attend, how would one direct regrets to the Dear Departed?

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips.

(If I tell her) it might cause her so much fear that she may never want to swim again ... . ... if I don’t tell her, she ...

Dear Abby advises a reader on whether or not he should tell his elderly neighbor about the alligator in the lake they swim in ...